Ugh. You know from the “punny” title of this post who is going to be featured. We’ll get to him, but let’s put it off as long as possible. The episode starts with some sad aliens whose moon is about to crash into their planet:
Also their mouths look like buttholes
They have sort of an Ewok/In Living Color vibe going on, with the forest tones and the hoods and the tucked-into-boots thing you can see on the guy in the back. I do like the effect of the shoulders on the jacket being a different color, but I’d like to see it in, say, a turquoise and fuchsia deal, or maybe black and white. These neutrals aren’t working for me.
So these guys are like “OMG PLEASE MOVE OUR MOON” and Picard is like “uh…we’ll try?” Because HELLO IT IS A WHOLE MOON. They try some things that don’t work, and then all of a sudden:
I could make a crack here but I won’t
Nude Q! Aaaaaaa noooooooo!!! Picard is not having it either:
I thought that was Tom Hanks for a second
They scrounge up some clothing for him, and I shit you not, he says “Ugh, these are not my colors.”
I’m going to pout until I get a new outfit
You are correct, Q. Not only is that jumpsuit Snoozefest 2366, but it also looks like it might be itchy. And considering you’re apparently not wearing any undergarments, that can’t be comfortable.
VPL? For Q? N-O
I am sort of into this, like, ruching on the back since it’s something interesting in the sea of beige, but overall this is not a great look for you, Q.
So of course Picard is like “what are you up to now, you rascal,” and Q is like “my powers are gone!!” and Picard is like “SUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRE they are” and they put him in the brig to see if he can escape, which he can’t:
Q, as a cover model for a YA novel
Those boots. Gross, Q. Gross.
Q is whining about having lost all his powers (he got in trouble with the Continuum), and also about basic human stuff (since he’s been an all-powerful being up to this point), and it’s actually kind of funny when he’s like “WHAT IS MY STOMACH DOING?” and Bev is like “you’re hungry, dude.”
This episode sponsored by Shoulderpad Emporium
Bev’s coat here: is it hers? Or is it’s Worf’s, for when he goes into the Holodeck and pretends to be Bev? Because girl, that shit is too big for you.
So Q finally convinces the crew that he’s basically harmless, except for being super-annoying, and that he wants to help fix this moon issue. His suggestion, however, is to “change the gravitational constant of the universe,” which in his current powerless state, isn’t helpful, but does give Geordi an idea about how to actually move the moon. Q is annoying, and hungry, so he goes to Ten-Forward, where he encounters Guinan:
Walk walk fashion baby
Guinan, being the HBIC she is, STRIDES up to him and is like “you are the worst,” while wearing this incredible multi-layered mullet ensemble. There’s a top top, and then a middle top or possibly a skirt? And then pants. All in red. She looks like an all-cherry rocket pop. And of course, a killer topper:
Guinan doesn’t like Q because he destroyed her people, so she stabs him in the hand with a fork. It’s pretty great.
Meanwhile, this whole time this energy being alien has been snooping around the Enterprise, looking for Q, because he wronged them (go figure) and they want payback now that Q is human. They try to take him over in a variety of amusing ways:
Until he collapses and Guinan gets to gloat:
You know that’s right
Poor Q. He didn’t even get to enjoy what he ordered to eat:
Ten chocolate sundaes
Every time I see the Ten-Forward uniforms, I am delighted anew.
Q has a couple more run-ins with the energy beings, who try to physically remove him from the ship, and would have, had Data not saved him:
Looks like the Pamchenko to me
Q is not, in fact, removed from the ship, but Data’s hard drive gets fried, almost killing him. Dr. Crusher is like “Q, you asshole,” and Q, for once, is like “oh yeah…I am an asshole,” and takes a shuttlecraft so that the Enterprise won’t be endangered by his presence anymore.
This selfless act gets the attention of another Q, who then appears on his shuttlecraft:
You have hair!!
OMG! Henry Spencer!! Yeah, yeah, I know, he was in Major League and you old fogies out there probably remember him from “LA Law,” but to me, he is Shawn’s dad, and he is great. Also kind of a dreamboat here? And also not wearing any sort of undergarments. Nice package, Other Q. He makes his entrance in typical Q fashion:
Where we’re going we don’t need doors
Why an all-powerful being would choose to wear that same jumpsuit is beyond me. In any event, the Other Q (they just call each other “Q,” like the Heathers) gives our regular Q his powers back, meaning that he can now just shift the moon as a present to JLP and the planet whose very existence is being threatened. Also, this happens:
Looks like my trophy room
Q is happy, of course, to be restored to the Continuum, and wants to celebrate with the Enterprise crew. In case you’re wondering, this is what Q considers a party:
Mariachi band: check
This is the kind of outfit I would be wearing if I was all-powerful.
Random Sexy Ladies: check
Wait, no: this would be what I would wear. Underboob everywhere! Shiny gold tit harness! Skirts that are actually just fabric that is near you! Also I would wear that blush the blonde has on, in that exact sweep.
That tie is just delightful. I don’t know what the pattern is, but I like to think it’s tiny versions of Q’s own face.
As a gift to Data for saving his life, Q grants Data the power to laugh. This goes on for an uncomfortably long time:
But it was nice of Q, anyway.
Hopefully we will be able to keep up with our posting duties in the next few months, but I (Anna) will be working on this musical, for which I wrote the book and lyrics. It has nothing at all to do with Star Trek or fashion (well, it does have a song about shoes in it, but baby shoes), but it’s my current project and I like to keep you guys apprised.