Legacy – 4.6

Here we have yet another episode where the Enterprise ends up in the middle of some conflict on some planet and tries to stay out of it, but gets pulled in, like I always do when there’s a Hoarders marathon on. Basically, this planet is a Federation colony that majorly failed and spiraled down into anarchy. There are two main warring factions in what’s left of the colony, the Coalition and the Alliance (real creative, guys). A couple of Enterprise crewmen accidentally end up on the planet and Picard, et al. have to go rescue them, even though both the Coalition and the Alliance haaaaaaaaate the Federation.

Adding another layer of intrigue here is that this colony is where the late Tasha Yar was born, and guess what! Her sister (or someone who claims to be her sister) still lives there! And agrees to help them rescue their men! And wears awesome clothes. Here we see Ishara Yar and her compadre from the Coalition for the first time:

“We have underground cows so we can make sweet leather jackets”

I actually think this is a really good costume design choice (for 1990, obviously). You see these guys and think “they are definitely living on the edge.” Those lapels? Those are the lapels of REBELLION. Those shoulders? The shoulders of ANARCHY. Those high-waisted pants with a belt that falls three inches below the waistband? The pants of the SEARCH for JUSTICE. Functional, tough, and slightly unflattering: this is the fashion mantra of many a Federation planet.

I also want to address her pants more specifically:

“It’s not a cummerbund, it’s a belt of freedom”

It’s hard to tell here, but she has not only outside-the-pants kneepads, but some sort of leather panty shield? It’s nice to know that old-fashioned army boots are still par for the course, though.

But I think the piece de resistance in Ishara Yar’s look is her Linda Hamilton hair:

“I tried to get my bangs as high as my cheekbones”

What kind of amazing space-age polymer does it take to get bangs like that?? Oh, right – it’s probably just Aquanet, which they apparently still have in the underground tunnel city on the anarchic colony. Sure. But then the back is chopped off in this VERY severe, blunt way. This is like a reverse-fakeout-lady-mullet. Business in the front – if your business is being in a Tiffany cover band – and party in the back – if you go to parties where everyone is a German performance artist and throws around the word “paradigm” too much.

Ishara and Data strike up a friendship – Data was friends with Tasha, as much as an android can be friends with someone, and having her sister around makes him wistful (Execute Wistful String 004579237 beep boop boop). But Ishara proves just how different she is from her sister by, apparently, consulting Counselor Troi on fashion:

“No, seriously, cameltoe is sexy now. It only took 400 years”

Tasha would never be caught wearing this getup. It is far too skintight and far too American Apparel for a practical gal like Tasha. But Ishara? I guess we can cut the girl some slack, seeing as how she’s been living underground in a Mad Max-style society for her entire life, she might be hungry for some duds that make her look like the hot chick she is instead of part of a futuristic motorcycle gang. It’s like being fed nothing but ramen noodles all your life, and then suddenly being plopped into a mall food court. That bourbon chicken might not be the best food in the world, but after 25 years of ramen, you’d go crazy for it, too.

That said, girl, tend to your vag. It doesn’t look cute, and it doesn’t look comfortable, and I’m of the opinion that you should strive for both, settle for one or the other, and steer clear of neither.

In the end, the crew members are rescued, but not without the crew being BETRAYED by Ishara. Data gets sad (Run Sad Command 2520893 beep beep boop) about it, and free of context, here is the last sentence in the Wikipedia episode summary:

“Leaving Riker’s quarter, Data pauses to caress the crystal proximity detector Ishara gave him.”

Execute Betrayal Command 23453479 beep boop sad boop.

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