Quick recap: Picard & Co. are studying the trajectory of a stellar fragment core (not a real thing?) when they discover that a planet in the fragment core’s trajectory previously thought uninhabited is actually home to a colony of genetically engineered humans who have made a “perfect” society. Interestingly enough, the premise of the episode is that their society is “perfect”… their only shortcoming is that they were unprepared for the stellar fragment core. Everyone else is perfectly genetically engineered for their job.
The only thing I have to say is that they obviously forgot to engineer themselves someone with a little bit of fashion sense.
Now before I start with the examples, I will say that little here is hideous, but it’s questionable enough for the suspension of disbelief—that this perfect society’s clothes weren’t designed by some holdover costume designer from the ’80s—to be a little wobbly.
The first people we meet are Aaron Conor and Martin. Conor is the leader of the colony, and Martin is kind of like a judge:
Unfortunately, my mantra for this post is going to be along the lines of “lapels and a zipper? really? this is supposed to be a perfect society?” I think we also need to address the Color of Martin’s suit. No wonder nobody takes him seriously.
Also, quick fashion aside: Troi gets some action in this episode, with none other than the colony leader. I knew it was going down with this line of dialogue:
Troi: Commander [Riker], if Mr. Conner doesn’t mind, I’d like to stay and see more of his “colony”.
Conner: No, no, that would be fine. I’d like you to see it.
This is the look that Riker gives to Troi right before he beams out. If that’s not a look of a guy looking at an ex girlfriend and knowing she’s about to git her some, I don’t know what is. GIVE THIS MAN AN EMMY!
Okay, this post could go on forever, so I just have a few more things: 1) the other guest character on the show is Hannah Abbott, a scientist. You can tell she’s a sensible woman scientist because of her earrings: they look like science!
She’s also allowed to only wear clashing, bright colors and at least one piece has to be a turtleneck. Still, her next outfit isn’t that bad (it was the early nineties)…
Until she turns around and you see what they’ve done to her hair:
YIkes. It’s like the haircut that girls dream of someday giving up when they turn 12 combined with a snake coiled on top of her head. Plus, a few minutes later, I saw that the weird peach labcoat and grapefruit turtleneck were paired with:
Yes, that is a brown skirt. Oh dear. Doesn’t the color wheel exist in the 24th century?
Okay ONLY TWO MORE I SWEAR. The first is a little whatafuh? I did with Troi’s outfit during the show… she changes colors on her classic boob-plunging “counselor’s outfit”. It’s like she went into an American Apparel and just pulled two different colors off the rack.
The gray one with the lavender stripe says “business”, but the merlot one with the dried blood stripe says “take me now.”
Last picture: did no one in this society learn how to sew a flattering pant?
I could mention the color choices again but it would just make me cry a little more. On the inside.